tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31916201487042947312024-03-15T01:55:51.500+08:00The Ramblings of A Missionary WifeCandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16773729246194736997noreply@blogger.comBlogger48125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3191620148704294731.post-51561155259539586072019-05-23T21:01:00.000+08:002019-05-23T21:01:50.330+08:00When The Answer is No...I never thought we would hear the answer no. It's what we planned for. It's what we trained for. It's what we hoped for. It was my husband's dream. It was who we were as a family.<br />
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When we returned home to the states for furlough last year, we were wiped. We had had a very busy few years in the Philippines building the hangar, importing helicopters and helping to get the helicopter program on our island set up. We were coming back to the states for several months of furlough and for Josh to finish up getting his helicopter license so we could return to the Philippines and fly the flight program on our island. We had already flown a flight program as a family on another island using the airplane and loved it and we looked forward to doing it again with the helicopter.<br />
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After a few weeks in the states recovering, we traveled to our aviation headquarters for Josh to have an evaluation of where he was at in the helicopter. There had been some concern expressed beforehand on his natural aptitude, but in my mind, I had no doubt that he was the best and everything would be fine. But even in believing that, we decided that we would trust God to lead us in the direction He wanted us to go in. Again though, I just knew that He wanted us in the Philippines flying the flight program.<br />
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But, what do you do when God says NO?<br />
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We were devastated. A pilot family is who we were. A missionary pilot is what my husband dreamed of being since he was a little boy. We were angry. We questioned. We wept. Why us? All our friends made it through. I can't really begin to describe how that felt. I didn't know how to help my husband. I wanted to take up an offense for him. I wanted to make it all ok, but I couldn't.<br />
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It really felt like a death. It felt like the closing of a book. What do we do now?<br />
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But in our grief, there was this, sometimes infuriating, but underlying peace. There was overwhelming love from our friends, family, and coworkers. There was our leadership, who had to deliver the hard news, but who cried with us and loved us through it all.<br />
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But for me, mostly, there was a choice.<br />
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I can take this as a defeat. I can stay mad. I can become bitter. I can look at it as God just dealing else another hard one. I can compare our situation with others. We can quit. We can do something else. We can return to a normal life back in Texas and just leave it all behind. Or...<br />
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I can take this as a redirection from my loving Savior who only ever does things for my good. I can choose joy even when it hurts and we're crying. We can choose to stick with the calling that God put in our hearts individually so many years ago to see unreached people come to know Him.<br />
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And this choice wasn't just for that day. I have to choose every day.<br />
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There is still a pang of grief when I think about that day. There are still tears. It's still hard when I see pictures of someone else flying the helicopter, yet we still run outside every time the helicopter flies over because we love aviation and flying.<br />
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God is still in control. He is still worthy of trust. He still loves and He's still good even if the answer is no and your whole world is turned upside down.<br />
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And as my very wise daughter said, "Mom, we haven't come to the end of the book, just the end of the chapter." <br />
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So, when the answer is no, you cry, choose daily to trust, and start the next chapter.<br />
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A little more about what our "next chapter" looks like-<br />
<a href="https://blogs.ethnos360.org/josh-dalton/2018/10/11/a-new-journey/">https://blogs.ethnos360.org/josh-dalton/2018/10/11/a-new-journey/</a><br />
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<br />Candyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16773729246194736997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3191620148704294731.post-53081148293611060262017-02-15T17:34:00.002+08:002017-02-15T17:34:54.406+08:00When You're Draining Your Own Bucket<br />
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You know the feeling...your bucket is empty. You are physically, emotionally, and mentally empty and dry. You given all you have and life just keeps coming, like the waves, hard and fast, and you are just surviving. Trying to keep your head above water and not drown.<br />
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But this isn't a situation that you can just walk out of. It's very different than you imagined it would be. The life you are living is your calling. It's the path God has put you feet on and asked you to walk out of love for Him. With joy. It started out that way. When you began your journey, life was beautiful and everything was green and you danced in the rain. Your eyes were lifted up and bright. You were up for adventure and new things. It was exciting. But now, it just seems like you are dragging your feet down this dry and dirty road. The green is gone and you feel like you're in a desert. The rain that you once danced in now feels cold and you curse it as it falls...<br />
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This past year has been a rough one. For me personally, not just as a family or in ministry. Moves, goodbyes, expectations, realizations, family, withdrawals, homeschooling, new ministry, hubby not doing what he loves, a 12-year-old son, emotions, hormones...just this past week, we found out that a 10 month ongoing deal for land for our new hangar feel through and we are back at square one. As I was talking to a dear friend, we were talking about what to do when your bucket is empty and how every time you are emptied, the bottom gets a little deeper and a full bucket doesn't feel as full as it used to.<br />
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When the Lord first called us to the mission field, we were on fire and full of passion and energy. We were so excited to start our new ministry in the Philippines using aircraft to help speed up the process of getting the Gospel to people who were lost without Christ. Almost 8 years later, I can tell you that it has looked nothing like what we imagined it would. We have lived a dream life some of the time, doing what we love and what we believed God called us to. But we have also done a lot of things that we did not dream of. Several years of not flying, filling in needs here and there, feeling unwanted or not needed, moving and traveling ALOT with kids, saying goodbye to coworkers that we thought would be here with us longer, and so so many unknowns and LONG periods of waiting.<br />
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Over the past few weeks, we have been convicted and challenged...one of those times where you feel and hear God speaking to you in EVERYTHING. Songs, books, friends...and to sum it up, He has asked us a question. "Will you choose joy and excitement and be passionate about doing whatever it is I ask you to do, even if it's not what you 'dreamed of?'"<br />
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Yeah...and basically we have realized that by allowing cynicism, complaining, frustration, and impatience to creep in, we have drained our on buckets.<br />
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Now, don't get me wrong. There are plenty of things beyond our control that drain us. Living in a country other than your home country will do that to you, as well as being in full time ministry. Anyone who is understands what I mean when I talk about tiredness that doesn't go away no matter how much you sleep. But the Lord is showing us things that we have CHOSEN to do that drain us. And what's even more awesome is that He has shown us some very practical ways to work on changing.<br />
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1. Complaining kills.<br />
We have realized how often we complain, especially under the disguise of "venting." My complaining ruins the atmosphere of my home and my bad attitude becomes everyone else's bad attitude, especially my kids and my husband. One way we are fixing this is that at dinner, we are all going around the table telling our favorite thing that happened that day. Focusing on the fun and joyful things that happen instead of being so quick to voice whatever it is that is bothering us. Also singing and praying together as a family more. A friend of ours told about his 6th grade teacher who required pushups for every mean thing that was said. We are now trying something like that for complaining just to help make us aware of how often we complain. So if you notice that we are all getting buff in pictures, you'll know why.<br />
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2. When sharing something with my spouse, timing and necessity can be key.<br />
When something happens that frustrates me, my automatic response is to immediately tell Josh how frustrated I am and tell him about how so-in-so did this and it really bothered me. Any loving spouse's response is going to be to sympathize. But for us, this leads to feeding off of each other's frustrations. It quickly turns into a back and forth narrative on how this person or this thing has offended or frustrated both of us and it grows and grows until it's out of control. So we have tried to start asking ourselves 2 things before we share something- "Does this need said right now?" and "Do I really need to say this at all?" This allows time for frustration to lessen and the Lord to deal with the sin that is probably driving the frustration.<br />
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3. Choose to think the best.<br />
I remember first hearing this years ago in the "Love and Respect" study in reference to husband/wife relationships. But this applies to every relationship and for us especially in cross-cultural situations. Why do I always assume the person is just trying to be annoying and is out to get me? Just because you've been burned in the past doesn't mean everyone is trying to set you on fire. Choose to think the best.<br />
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4. Be adventurers.<br />
When you're frustrated, hurt, and tired, you want to be safe. No new things. No change. But the reality is, we live a life of change and new things almost daily. I can drudge through each day just "taking what I'm given" or I can see life as a wild and exciting adventure with Jesus and accept each things He gives with joy knowing it's the best He has for me.<br />
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People. This takes grace. Daily grace. Minute grace. Nanosecond grace. Josh & I had a weekend away last week for our anniversary and I was so energized and excited to put into practice the things the Lord had been showing us. I began the week great. This afternoon? Well, Josh is at home with the kids and I'm at a coffee shop blogging if that tells you anything. Every day, I find myself more desperate and desperate for Jesus. He is real. He is there. And He knows and answers. I need Him every second for every breath.<br />
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So many things in this life drain our buckets. Lord Jesus, help me not to drain my own bucket.<br />
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Candyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16773729246194736997noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3191620148704294731.post-81875893107983745162016-08-09T11:15:00.000+08:002016-08-09T11:15:15.257+08:00Of Course He Isn't SafeAs a missionary, we get asked some weird questions, especially while on furlough. And we get asked a lot of the same questions. Common ones include- "So, don't you just love it there?" Is it like being on vacation all the time?" (ha!) "How many people have you led to Christ?" And probably one of the top ones is- "Is it safe over there?"<br />
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The dictionary describes safe as: protected from or not exposed to danger or risk; not likely to be harmed or lost; uninjured with no harm done. I guess I understand what people are asking, but sometimes I want to ask them the same thing- "Are you safe here?"<br />
Don't get me wrong. I am all about safety and being aware and careful, but it seems more like a fear loaded question of, "Are you sure you should be doing what you are doing? Because you might get killed you know."<br />
Being the nerd I am, a good Lord of The Rings quote always brings balance...<br />
"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to..."<br />
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Any one of us, whether I am stepping out my door in a jungle in the Philippines, or stepping out my door on my way to work in America- We aren't safe. We are not guaranteed safety from harm, danger, risk, or death. We could all easily let this knowledge completely paralyze us with fear. Maybe, if you locked yourself in your house on a deserted island and never left, you might be "safe."<br />
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Yes, the job we do has completely different risks and concerns than living in America. Sometimes, thinking about my husband, flying into some of the most difficult airstrips in the world makes me nervous. Sometimes, living where we live and the things that go on make me concerned. But being in the center of God's will is always the safest place to be. And on an island in the Philippines is where His will is for us.<br />
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As Josh was reading aloud to the kids last night before bed from The Lion, The Witch, & The Wardrobe, I overheard him read something I've read many times, but it struck me because "safety" has been on my mind a lot lately.<br />
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<h1 class="quoteText" style="color: #181818; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 21px; margin: 0px 0px 15px; padding: 0px;">
“Aslan is a lion- the Lion, the great Lion." "Ooh" said Susan. "I'd thought he was a man. Is he-quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion"..."Safe?" said Mr Beaver ..."Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you.”</h1>
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Our God isn't safe! He is mighty, just, & all-powerful. But oh, He is GOOD! Our trust is not in safety, but in His goodness.<br />
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<br />Candyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16773729246194736997noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3191620148704294731.post-69983545861198475992016-06-27T18:07:00.002+08:002016-06-27T18:33:15.662+08:00When Your Kids Are Grieving<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Over the past couple of weeks, we have experienced something new with our kids. Grief. Not just crying over someone they missed but deep grieving over the losses they have experienced in their few short years of living in this fallen world. I was totally unprepared and have felt utterly helpless.<br />
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Two weeks ago, we had the privilege of attending our annual mission conference. It is a great time to catch up on what all God is doing in the Philippines and reconnect with friends. Although we serve in the same country, serving on different islands makes it difficult for us to get together and it will sometimes even be a couple years in between visits. Our kids have friends here that they have grown up with since they were born, so it is a special time for them especially.<br />
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After two weeks of fun and friends, we started our long trip back to our island. And that's when the tears began. I thought it was just the normal crying when we say goodbyes and gave my normal "comfort"talk and let them cry. I knew it would go away as soon as we got home.<br />
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But as the days went by, it just got worse. Sobbing and sobbing. And that's when I knew we were dealing with more than just the normal goodbye cries. They were talking for hours about things, people, and places they missed. And the questions...the questions are what got me.<br />
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We have always been very honest and open with the whys and wheres and hows of our ministry. The kids have seen us struggle and cry, but we realized that they are not little anymore and aren't just taking our word for things. They are grappling with the whys, the wheres, and the hows for themselves.<br />
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"Why can't we tell people about Jesus in America?"<br />
"Why were we called to the mission field and to say goodbye to our family but so-in-so doesn't have to?"<br />
"Why can't we live near our friends?"<br />
"How is flying a helicopter really telling people about Jesus?"<br />
"If all Christians are supposed to tell people about Jesus, then why aren't more people going where people don't know?"<br />
"Why are goodbyes so hard?"<br />
"Why do we miss people so much?"<br />
"Why did we have to move from Palawan?"<br />
"Why do we have to move all the time?"<br />
"Why can't we just go to heaven now so we don't have to cry anymore?"<br />
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Yeah...try and answer those to an 11 and 9 year old...<br />
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My first reaction is to try and distract them with something else so they will stop crying and maybe forget about the questions they are asking and the struggles they are having. But that's just selfish because really that reaction is because I don't want to have to deal with it and I don't want to see them hurt.<br />
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The past few weeks have driven Josh & I to our knees. I have so desperately needed Jesus because I don't have answers for all those questions. I cannot take their pain away. We have sought the Lord, His word, and the wisdom of other missionaries and missionary kids who have walked through this before us. We definitely do not have the answers, but in our seeking, God has answered in some powerful ways.<br />
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1. Grieving takes time and you can't rush it. Letting them cry. Listening to them talk. Even if it's for several hours everyday. They need to get it out.<br />
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2. Notice and acknowledge when they are struggling. Don't minimize it or "try to make it better."<br />
Be a safe place they can come to and even seek them out when you see they are hurting.<br />
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3. Transitions take time too. A friend told us that it takes about a year to feel at home in a new place. It makes so much since even considering that a lot of things happen annually. Christmas, birthdays, things you do that create memories. I think one of the reasons it was so hard for our kids to return "home" this time is because it was the first time to return "home". They have no memories yet of coming back here.<br />
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4. What they are going through now is preparing them for what God has for them in the future. They will be able to relate to and minister to people who are walking through loss, missing people, and moving in a way that many others won't be able to.<br />
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5. Loving a lot means hurting a lot. When you love people, it hurts.<br />
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6. Everything that we do is because we love Jesus and because we are thankful for what Jesus did for us. We have talked about how Jesus left his daddy and went to a place far from His home to tell make a way for people to be saved and come to God. They are relating to this with having left their family in America and realize why we are here- to tell those who haven't heard about our Jesus that people in America have access to by almost every avenue.<br />
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7. Serving Jesus is a privilege. And they get to do so many things that most other kids don't! More airline flights than we can count, snorkeling in the ocean, swimming in rivers in the jungle, watching people open God's Word for the first time, traveling all over the world, friends from all over the world. They live a life of privilege.<br />
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8. And sometimes serving Jesus calls for sacrifice- my kids have moved an average of once a year since they have been born & say real and long goodbyes multiple times a year sometimes not knowing when or if they will see family or friends again. They also live a life of loss.<br />
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9. It's not just our ministry. It's theirs. God didn't just call Josh & I to the Philippines. He called our family and making sure that they are a part is crucial. We have tried to let them help with things they can help with as much as possible. And they often open doors with neighbors and local people in a way that would be harder for us as adults.<br />
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10. Heaven is our real home. If our life was always good here and we were never sad then we wouldn't want to go to heaven. They long for heaven like no kids I have ever known. It is very real to them. This is probably the thing I am most excited about that I see God doing in their lives. And in Josh & I's too. We live life in the here and now, so focused on the visible and tangible. But we were not made for here. We were made for a place unseen. There are battles going on right before our eyes, an entire realm exists that we can't see with our physical eyes. I want my kids to know and have a purpose on this earth and live it out to the fullest for Jesus with their eyes on their eternal destination. And God is working that in their hearts. It's hard, but it is beautiful.<br />
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Please continue to pray for us, for all four of us. Pray that we will fall to our knees before the One who brings comfort and peace. Pray that we will know our purpose and live it to the fullest. Pray that we will learn to grieve well and help others who are grieving. Pray that we will live our life on Earth but live it for Heaven.<br />
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Candyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16773729246194736997noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3191620148704294731.post-30334938114173304982016-04-30T19:36:00.000+08:002016-04-30T19:38:54.381+08:00True Confessions- My Story Of HealingTrue confessions- Over the past few weeks, a lot of things have come to the surface for me that I feel like I have buried. I am going to be very honest because I am just a normal person and even missionaries struggle and sin. I wanted to share about this not for you to feel sorry for me, but to show how awesome and faithful God has been to me.<br />
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A year or so before we moved to the Philippines, I started having some anxiety symptoms, mind racing, constant stomach cramps, fatigue, and sadness, though at that time I didn't know that was what it was. After struggling for several months, I went to see our family doctor who is also a strong believer and good friend. He prescribed me a low dose of anxiety meds that helped with my symptoms and I have been on it for the past 7 years. </div>
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Three weeks after moving to the Philippines, my mom suffered a complete mental, emotional, and physical breakdown. Only by God's grace was I able to commit myself to being where I was, knowing that my dad and brother were doing everything they could to take care of her. After over a year. they were finally able to get her stabilized and she is doing well to this day. That was a hard and dark year that I am glad is over. Being a parent to your parent and quoting scripture and truth over the phone to your crying, sick Mom who is on the other side of the world is not easy.<br />
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After being in the Philippines for a year and a half, right after moving to Palawan, I found out that I was pregnant for the fourth time, having miscarried a baby in between our kids. When I went to the doctor for the first time around 10 weeks, I was only measuring 6 weeks, and realized that something was wrong. After finally finding a doctor who didn't just want to to a D&C and "take care of it", I was told that I had a "non embryonic" pregnancy- all the signs, including morning sickness, weight gain, and no periods, but no baby. I decided to just let my body deal with it on its own and at almost 20 weeks, it did. I am not sure why, but that experience left my body a physical wreck. I felt like I dealt with it well emotionally, but ever since then, my body has been different. I have put on a considerable amount of weight since then and have not been able to lose it, no matter how hard I have tried.<br />
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Most of you who have read my blog or know me also know that I have a pretty crazy family. 15 brothers and sisters. Since being in the Philippines, my parents have gone through more than any two people can handle with a bunch of my siblings. Every time they call, I wonder which one it is this time that is in jail, has lost a job, or has a new child out of wedlock. I wondered how much more my parents could take and part of me wanted to go scream and shake my siblings into reality. It got to the point that whenever I would hear whatever the latest scandal was, I could actually feel myself getting calloused and almost like I didn't care. I don't know if that was just my way of handling it or what.<br />
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The life of a missionary is exciting. We get to travel the world and see new places and cultures. But when you don't like change and you are a planner/list maker type of person, the exciting and new wears off kind of fast. In the almost seven years we have been on the field, we have lived on 3 different islands & flown across the world 10 times. There have been days when I literally couldn't plan my week, let alone my day, because I had no idea what we were doing. Months of uncertainty about if we are moving, where we are moving, how we are moving, to here, to there, flight program closed, flight program open...I could go on. It's been a stretch for me.<br />
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And all of this bring me to recent events (and my point, promise!)-<br />
We are nearing the 4 month mark of living on our new island, Mindanao. We packed up and moved all of our belongings and car from Palawan and said goodbye to all our friends there. The transition has gone smoothly and well for us- it helps when your close friends and coworkers live a couple blocks away. I have really been struggling with my weight and after some prayer, Josh and I decided that I would wean myself off of my anxiety meds to see if that would help. Right at about a month of being completely off, things were going pretty well with none of the symptoms coming back. About three weeks ago, we went as a family to a big city about 4 hours away to await the helicopter's arrival. Josh and our coworker, Brian, would be assembling it and getting it ready to fly. We waited a week before it was finally released and the guys could start working. It felt like we were sitting on a time bomb, like literally waiting on pins and needles for the phone call that it was released. It was a tad trying on the patience. While in the city, we stayed at a small guesthouse. It was during that week when I really started to feel the pressure building up inside me. We were having daily power outages for 4-8 hours and no water during the day. It was really hot and humid. We had to share our kitchen and space and I was not a happy camper. (My next post is about complaining.) I realized that I was having withdrawal symptoms from the meds. I also realized that I did not like myself. I didn't like the way I looked, the way I felt, or the way I was acting. My husband told me that because I didn't myself, I assumed he didn't either and had seriously pulled away from him emotionally and physically.<br />
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Over the past two weeks, I have done some serious soul searching. I realized that the anxiety meds were God's way of healing me from anxiety and helping me through the past few years, but they also had kept me from dealing with loss and sorrow. I could count a handful of times that I have cried in the last 7 years. I don't think it was all the meds because I also know that I just didn't want to deal with my feelings of loss, anger, or sadness at those times. I stuffed it because it was easier. So I began to cry out to the Lord to teach me how to deal- how to grieve.<br />
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I think I have cried at least twice every single day in the last 10 days. Things will just hit me. My mom. My siblings. All the goodbyes. Being so far away from people I love. How I have treated Josh or my kids. Change. And its been beautiful. A hard beautiful. And it has also shown me how God has used all of these things to change me and show me how awesome He is.<br />
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He healed my Mom without me! He took care of her and taught me how to trust Him with those I love. Sometimes I am afraid that something will happen to someone in my family when I'm so far away- and He reminds me, "Something did happen. And I proved myself trustworthy. You still doubt me?"<br />
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He used the weird pregnancy experience to teach me how to trust Him with my own health in a foreign country and to help me to learn to be content with how many children He gave. (I always wanted at least 6.)<br />
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He has used my crazy family to teach me unconditional love and that its only by His grace that I am not the one in jail. And that sometimes love does not look like we think it does. I pray for my siblings everyday and I completely trust that the Lord will bring them back to Himself.<br />
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All of the moving and change has taught me that God has a plan, even when I don't and I can't see His. He has taught me that I am not entitled to or do I deserve anything that I have. It is all a gift. From having hot water for a shower to what kind of house I live in or knowing where I am going to live.<br />
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Healing and learning to "deal" often comes through grieving. You can grieve and trust our faithful Father at the same time.<br />
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And all this to say, He is faithful. He shines brightest in the darkest places, in the hard places.<br />
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<br />Candyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16773729246194736997noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3191620148704294731.post-89336312983783831062016-01-13T16:10:00.003+08:002017-02-15T20:55:54.338+08:00Be A Risky AdventurerOur whirlwind year began with flying back to the Philippines and preparations for moving all of our stuff from one island to another. As we were spending time with family around the holidays and packing up to come back to the Philippines, we were blessed with some encouragement from several people in our family that helped to change my perspective on things that were coming.<br />
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You all know I don't like change. I blog about it pretty much every post. And I realized that I was so focused on the change that some of the excitement was being lost. Instead, our family kept saying how excited they were for us as we began our next adventure. And I thought- "Adventure. Hu. Sounds a lot more exciting than lots of change." And God whispered to my heart- "Living your life for me is and always will be an adventure." So that has become our word for this year. ADVENTURE.</div>
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The definition of adventure is-</div>
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1. An exciting or very unusual experience.</div>
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2. Participation in exciting undertakings or enterprises.</div>
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3. A bold, usually risky undertaking; hazardous action of uncertain outcome.</div>
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4. To take the risk involved. </div>
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Adventure is exciting and unusual. Adventurers experience and see things that others don't. Adventure is bold. And adventure is risky. That's the part I don't really like. Risk. Risk seems bad. Kind of irresponsible. Especially when you have children.</div>
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I read a little book last year by John Piper that said this: "Therefore, it is right to risk for the cause of Christ. It is right to engage the enemy and say, “May the Lord do what seems good to him.” It is right to serve the people of God, and say, “If I perish, I perish!” It is right to stand before the fiery furnace of affliction and refuse to bow down to the gods of this world...<br />
For the good of our souls and for the glory of our Saviour, risk is most assuredly right."<br />
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<span style="text-align: center;">When you look at the mighty men and women of the Bible, they all lived lives of risk. Everyone though Noah was crazy. Abraham went but didn't know where He was going. Joseph went to prison because He stood for the right. David, the prophets, Esther, Nehemiah, the disciples, Peter, Paul, JESUS! Why should I expect my life to be void of risk? If you are a believer, you should expect it. </span>So, as we embark on this new adventure- a new island, a new language, a new aircraft, many more moves, unsettledness- I am excited to be living our very own GODventure. Being exactly where He wants us to be, sharing His love to those who have never heard, encouraging those along side us- it is pretty awesome.<br />
Be encouraged dear ones. Risk is right. And living your Godventure is what you were made for.</div>
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Candyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16773729246194736997noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3191620148704294731.post-35809523336752020102015-11-18T08:31:00.001+08:002015-11-18T08:31:45.516+08:00I Can't Handle Any More ChangeWell, it's November. And yep, we were supposed to be back in the Philippines in October. I can't even count how many times our plans have been changed and how many times I have been asked, "Now, when are you leaving again?" Don't get me wrong- I LOVE my little home in the desert, being here for the holidays, Starbucks red cups, Target, (mom sigh)... but my heart is ready to go back.<br />
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My friend and I were joking around the other day talking about how we anticipate/dread our husbands coming home for lunch because we never know what new plan has hatched that day that changes everything. Well, today was one of those days. My husband and I started talking about something that has recently happened that could change our plans yet again. I had already considered this possibility in my head last week, but hearing him voice it out loud made my heart lurch. Outwardly, I think I smiled and made some comment about how God is in control, but inside I was screaming- "I CAN'T HANDLE ANYMORE CHANGE."<br />
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I have tried to be really chill about it. To others, I have seemed really chill about it. And the Lord has really done a huge work in my heart over the last few years in teaching me to be flexible and trusting Him. And I do trust Him, but that doesn't make it easy.<br />
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For a while, there was a quote going around- "God doesn't give us more than we can handle." Don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings, but that's a lie. All through Scripture and all through life, God allows people to experience more than they can handle. Because it is then that He really becomes our strength because we can't handle it. But oh- it is still hard, Hard, HARD!<br />
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Pray for me guys. We have 3 big moves coming up in the next 4-5 months, lots of goodbyes, traveling, and expenses. I seriously don't even know where we will be in a few weeks.<br />
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The Lord keeps whispering to my heart- "I don't change. I'm always the same. Always there. And I am for you, not against you. I never change."<br />
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<br />Candyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16773729246194736997noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3191620148704294731.post-87186675049103223872015-04-24T17:03:00.003+08:002015-04-24T17:15:32.885+08:00I Have Become An OstrichI have become an ostrich...<br />
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When you read the news, click on the link, or that article and an overwhelming sense of sadness and helplessness comes over you, because what can you really do? So much suffering. So much poverty. Babies being killed. Women and children being sold for their bodies. People starving. No clean water. No education. Brutality. No religious freedom. Disease rampant. People who have never even heard the name of Jesus. If you have the courage to even lift your head out of the sand for a second, you are so moved and overwhelmed by the ugliness, the evil, the sadness of it all, you just stick your head back in the sand. For me, living in a third world country, it's not just pictures on the news. It's real people I'm seeing.<br />
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Sometimes I feel pulled a thousand different ways. I want to stop abortion. I want to help the poor. I want to put an end to human trafficking. I want to get food and water to those who don't have any. I want to be a doctor and help sick people in third world countries. I want to teach people to read. I want them to be able to worship God without persecution. I want every unreached people group to hear the name of Jesus. But I can't. Most days, I don't even leave my house. Who am I kidding anyway?<br />
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I feel deeply. I am deeply moved by things. Sometimes to the point that I can't function. When a friend found out she had cancer yet again, I couldn't get off the couch for hours. A couple of years ago, I asked God to show me things the way He sees them, to love like He loves, & to care how he cares. Well, be careful what you pray. Because He answers and sometimes it is more than you can handle.<br />
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What do you do? Once I realize I can't do all these things, I basically just give up and do nothing. So very helpless. I am one person in a HUGE world of evil.<br />
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But I am one person in a HUGE world of evil with an even BIGGER God, the LIGHT of the world in me. I am not called to all those things. Yes, I know I say this a lot. But I have to remind myself a lot.<br />
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I just finished reading, "Rhinestone Jesus: Saying Yes to God When Sparkly, Safe Faith is No Longer Enough" by Kristen Welch. (Highly Recommend by the way). She talks about how one small "yes" to God started her down the path of starting a non-profit organization in India for pregnant girls. One person and one yes. God led her down a path and gave her a passion and that is what she and family do. It is their calling. But that is not my calling. It's hers.<br />
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My mama raised 16 kids. 16!!!!! She gave herself and her life to giving kids life who wouldn't have had a chance otherwise. But that is not my calling. It's hers.<br />
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I have many dear friends who live in the jungles, hot and sweaty, sometimes with no power or water, for months and years of their lives, bringing the name of Jesus to those who have never heard. But that is not my calling. It's theirs.<br />
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I have family in politics, real estate, doctors and nurses, anthropologists, and writers. I have friends who run organizations to help people get clean water, stop human trafficking, and end abortion. But that is not my calling. It is theirs.<br />
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Our family is in a bit of a transition time right now. The job that we have trained for years for and spent thousands of dollars on, being a missionary pilot family, has come to an end. We have been filling in here and there for the last few months here in the Philippines and are coming back to the states for a little while to help with some things there, then back to the Philippines again. But we don't know what we are coming back to. We believe that God has called us to serve here in the Philippines, but it could be something totally different. In other words, sometimes God changes your callings. But some callings never change.<br />
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God called me to be a missionary when I was 11 years old and that will never change, even if the location or "job" does. God has called me to be passionate, pray for, and support those who are on the front lines bringing Jesus' name to the unreached. God has called me to be a wife and that calling won't change until "death do us part."<br />
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You know the ostrich? Well, it is actually a myth about ostriches burying their heads in the sand. They build their nests and lay their eggs in a hole in the sand. They constantly check on, tend to, and turn the eggs by poking their head down in the hole. Um...yeah. She's taking care of her babies. God has called me to be a mother. To tend to and care for my babies. But she doesn't live with her head in the hole. There is a world too. An evil world outside that hole that must be dealt with. And one day, her babies will be out there too. And there are some of you who don't have babies. But I guarantee there are some eggs that need looking after! Young mommies, old grandmas...the list is endless. Together, if we all say "YES", by the power of our God we serve, the world will be changed.<br />
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I would love to hear from you how you balance the time of your head being in the hole and out of it. How do you get involved in things you are passionate about without completely overloading yourself?<br />
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So basically. Be an ostrich. Tend to your eggs, but don't shut the world out. Ask God what your "yes" should be. And for now, it may be only to your family. But that, my dears is a high calling!<br />
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<br />Candyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16773729246194736997noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3191620148704294731.post-52491409263869229962015-03-26T15:53:00.000+08:002015-03-26T16:55:26.823+08:00When You Just Can't Say GoodbyeEvery single morning. Every morning, when I woke up, I thought about it and knew that I couldn't do it. It loomed over my head like a cloud. I just could not say goodbye.<br />
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The months leading up to our departure for the Philippines 6 years ago, I looked forward to going, but I dreaded the day that I would have to say goodbye to my mom and dad. I could not do it. When I say my family is close, I don't just mean your typical family closeness. I mean CLOSE. We have no secrets. We tell each other everything. We have walked through some of the most horrible, nightmarish things together and become closer. I talked to my parents at least once a day. How could I leave them behind?<br />
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Goodbyes are a huge part of missionary life. Just ask my kids. You get settled somewhere (which only takes about a week now), and then you leave or someone else leaves. Constant goodbyes.<br />
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From the very beginning, other missionaries had told me about this and so I started praying. "Lord, teach us how to say goodbye well. Help us to love people to the fullest even though we know that we will have to say goodbye." I also added, a little selfishly, "And please, Lord. Give us new family wherever we go..."<br />
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Well, the day came, a hot summer day in July. Our entire family, extended family, & friends came to the airport to send us off. As we told each person goodbye, the knot in my stomach kept growing as I knew my parents were getting closer and closer. And then it was there. I remember shaking and crying as they wrapped their arms around me. They told me how much they loved me, how proud they were, and to go with their blessing. And my mom said her famous words, "It will all be ok." She slid a beautiful ring on my finger to remind me of her and we turned with our bags, our 4 and 2 year old and took the first step on our new adventure.<br />
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It wasn't until I sit down in my seat on the plane, that I realized the moment I had dreaded for so long was gone. And I also realized something else. I didn't do it. HE did. He gave me all I needed in that moment. No amount of worrying or fearing could prepare me for that moment. He didn't give me what I needed before the moment.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My brother, Dan</td></tr>
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Many goodbyes have been said since then and I can definitely say that they don't get easier, but I don't dread them as much because I know that HE always comes through.<br />
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Oh, and remember that last little selfishly said prayer? Ha!<br />
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Back in 2006, the Lord led several families to start missionary training together, several of them being with New Tribes Mission Aviation, like us. Today, 9 years later, 5 of us serve on the same field together as a team. Our kids have been born and grown up together. We have moved together, learned language & culture together, gone through fun times and hard times, and lived life together.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">2007</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj094UIsj_B6OyzBVDbXiJuNo6p1hyphenhyphenvqoWC38iPDFaYRW7huS9i8YR6aWcTbMaFA31VZYP6gr_U6G4A_SMYsBuDTbwDmURg8UKlZP1M0qB6NRCs28FIN1_7PiEbEt0XaS8ynT39dB8pDUTQ/s1600/PPL_3326.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj094UIsj_B6OyzBVDbXiJuNo6p1hyphenhyphenvqoWC38iPDFaYRW7huS9i8YR6aWcTbMaFA31VZYP6gr_U6G4A_SMYsBuDTbwDmURg8UKlZP1M0qB6NRCs28FIN1_7PiEbEt0XaS8ynT39dB8pDUTQ/s1600/PPL_3326.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">2008</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">2014</td></tr>
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He has given us an awesome group of tribal church planters to serve here on our island and many of them have become some of our very best friends.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9HEMhtmajGAsiZzd47nqjLsYAXzinZ5cmQvU7X8x4erkclQbTsccJdrDTIJQf3uESuATmeE0FvbjxTBoAcvjJ_oiw7uI_8cTC1ZOUt0ldyHUiU2z9xFhF4LzJYmSAyQyFbVYi-I7N0RUY/s1600/IMG_5031.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9HEMhtmajGAsiZzd47nqjLsYAXzinZ5cmQvU7X8x4erkclQbTsccJdrDTIJQf3uESuATmeE0FvbjxTBoAcvjJ_oiw7uI_8cTC1ZOUt0ldyHUiU2z9xFhF4LzJYmSAyQyFbVYi-I7N0RUY/s1600/IMG_5031.JPG" height="320" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Elsie & Gilbert <br />
(Elsie has lived with us for 6 years & married Gilbert in 2013. They are some of our very best friends.)</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuj-XiuhlaI0jljwrpGb7RwPpk7LWLoBMg058OgCMwDwnUzCreBxaNcCWiH3QJs34BSEhRpD93W1DRD9SoeR8q4D2008eIw-IgvaPEsi19QG_N9vE6n2NUfByZOvI331xc1-KmJvlvsP1F/s1600/IMG_4182.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuj-XiuhlaI0jljwrpGb7RwPpk7LWLoBMg058OgCMwDwnUzCreBxaNcCWiH3QJs34BSEhRpD93W1DRD9SoeR8q4D2008eIw-IgvaPEsi19QG_N9vE6n2NUfByZOvI331xc1-KmJvlvsP1F/s1600/IMG_4182.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One of my dearest friends, Philippa, & my "mom," Julie</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3KZ65WQvYbiZhe5pKVeM7wtpj-DMNP3eTrj56T8GgbbDN-vhcsnfDc-11aRF2XmV36Rt7xGyPDYRvD8N6DEFo1u5FGWlMP8-BSU2O4fpNtxrDATz3e0gA_9FvQhvMSNxgRWO4ewji5_Lg/s1600/IMG_4074.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3KZ65WQvYbiZhe5pKVeM7wtpj-DMNP3eTrj56T8GgbbDN-vhcsnfDc-11aRF2XmV36Rt7xGyPDYRvD8N6DEFo1u5FGWlMP8-BSU2O4fpNtxrDATz3e0gA_9FvQhvMSNxgRWO4ewji5_Lg/s1600/IMG_4074.JPG" height="320" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The kids with some of their dearest friends, Naomi, Lydia, & Evie</td></tr>
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I am so very humbled to think of that little prayer I murmured so many years ago and to look at the big ways God has answered. I still miss my family in America, but God has given me a new family here. A new home that I miss just as much when I'm gone. No one will ever take the place of my family, my parents, my brother, my nieces and nephews, but my sweet and loving Father God has given me more people to love- more parents, more brothers and sisters, more nieces and nephews than I ever would have had I never said that first goodbye. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My niece in America, Makayla </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhULQV3JygSf0IBeagT9qIRqa0CetJYFwehySfN2-QEj78dc0mBIZIsEtPsMGMpHEiGCoWJLpv0-Qkb-OJ7nH4B5FT6Q6f1msdEKiQ7guCbc2HIOX1mwNVx74sqT7IeDJkq_wdkeP7Dtau/s1600/IMG_6368.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhULQV3JygSf0IBeagT9qIRqa0CetJYFwehySfN2-QEj78dc0mBIZIsEtPsMGMpHEiGCoWJLpv0-Qkb-OJ7nH4B5FT6Q6f1msdEKiQ7guCbc2HIOX1mwNVx74sqT7IeDJkq_wdkeP7Dtau/s1600/IMG_6368.JPG" height="320" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My "nephew" & "nieces"- Judah, Zoey, & Izzy</td></tr>
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Don't worry. Don't be afraid to say goodbye. Whether it is just for a time or saying goodbye to someone in death. May it do to you what it has for us- be blessed with more people to love and look forward with even more excitement to the land of NO MORE GOODBYES! And family forever!<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Corbel, Verdana, sans-serif;">"Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." -Mt. 10:37-39</span>Candyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16773729246194736997noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3191620148704294731.post-9132712024927096572015-02-19T17:21:00.003+08:002015-02-21T20:55:33.974+08:00The Honest Truth From This Missionary Wife- My Field Is Too Small<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I knew I would be doing this. But I thought I'd be doing more. Something bigger. I thought I'd be out among the people letting my little light shine, talking about Jesus every moment, leading lots of people to Christ. What I'm doing day in and day out, I could be doing anywhere. In any country. I AM A MISSIONARY FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!<br />
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The alarm goes off at 6:15 and I roll over and put my pillow over my head as I groggily wait for my coffee (that my sweet hubby makes every morning). No one ever accused me of being a morning person. By the time I actually get up and quietly sneak around getting ready, I sit down with my Bible and coffee at the exact time my 10-year old son bursts through the door with the entourage of dogs to say good morning and talk about something he remembered from Star Wars. I nod my head, try to look happy, listen to something about Darth Vader, pat the dogs, and send them out to do chores, really wondering how in the world he times it like that every morning. My 8 year old sweet pea comes a few minutes later still in pajamas wanting to snuggle...and so goes my "quiet time" for the morning.<br />
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After breakfast, I gather the dirty clothes and walk downstairs to the outdoor basement to do laundry. I really do like doing laundry, (I know I'm weird), and I love drying the clothes on the clothesline. The wind is blowing, the palm trees are swaying, and the sun is shining. But all I see is the dog poop all over the yard and the latest thing the puppy has torn up. Make a mental note to clean that up later.<br />
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After I send Josh off on whatever awesome thing he is doing that day, I call the kids into start school, usually with protests asking if they can finish whatever it is they are in the middle of that is so hugely important. School goes along reading about the Industrial Revolution, giving spelling tests, and fighting our way with bad attitudes through math. Science projects are always a little funky in this climate, but we try our best. Lunch follows with house cleaning and errands. Supper, a little family time, a story (we just finished Winnie-The-Pooh), prayers and bed for the kids.<br />
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At the end of the day, I climb into bed with my book and wonder what in the world I did today...and what did I do different than someone who isn't a missionary. Any number of my friends in my home country did exactly what I did today, except maybe used a dryer rather than a clothesline. I could have done what I did today in America, except it would be more fun because I would be near friends, have Starbucks & Dr. Pepper, do my shopping at Target, maybe go to a Bible study or have someone over for dinner.<br />
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To be perfectly honest, this is not how I imagined my life as a missionary. And if you didn't pick it up, sometimes I feel like my husband is the REAL missionary. Oh my gosh, I said it.<br />
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I have struggled with this on and off since we arrived on the field 6 years ago. There have been times where I have felt more like a missionary- learning language, flying in and seeing friends in the villages, being a part of Bible dedication. But what about all the times in between? The everyday life. The "Simply Tuesdays" as Emily Freeman, one of my favorite writers calls them. <br />
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I always have wanted BIG things. Big impact. Big results. Big revelations. But so, so often, God says "little." Be faithful in the small things.<br />
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Am I ok with my "mission field" being my home? My own house and those who live in it? The Filipino couple who lives with us? My neighbors?<br />
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Am I ok with my only "disciples" being my two kids? My impact being making my husband successful at his work? Why do I think his work is more important? Because he has an official title? Because he actually gets to see results? Because he is out in the thick of it doing the big things?<br />
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And who says what is big and little? Is it little just because that's how I see it? Is it big just because I can see results right away?<br />
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What if this is what being a missionary is? Being a light, a leader, an example to those God has put in my "little field?" It's all about perspective! An attitude of thankfulness and recognizing the opportunities that God has put in my life, today. They are just for me. You can't come live my life and I can't live yours. I can't impact your children, support your husband, or show His love to those in your life the way that you can.<br />
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He has called me to be a wife, a mama, His light and love to those in my field. My field has my husband, my two kiddos, a Filipino couple, many other people who God brings in and out of my field, laundry, dishes, & schooling my kids.<br />
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What's in your field? Treasure it. It's your field that He's given you. Water it. Feed it. Watch it with the tenderest care. Because, no matter how big or small, fields bring harvest.<br />
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<br />Candyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16773729246194736997noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3191620148704294731.post-70947684543275181892015-01-29T16:13:00.000+08:002015-01-29T16:16:51.407+08:00My Greatest FearSometimes it scares me. Most of the time actually. I feel so inadequate, so unprepared, & like I have no idea what I am doing. Wait, who am I kidding? I have no idea what I am doing. I'm not sure anything could have prepared me for it. Parenting.<br />
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When I look at my babies, I realize they are babies no more. No more babies, no more toddlers. We are in big kid territory. Babies are easy. They have basic needs, they don't understand what you're saying, and you don't have to explain anything.<br />
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But we are entering in the realm of independence, moodiness & having to explain things- hard things. Like why there are two men kissing in line in front of us, what the dogs are doing the front yard, why we can't watch that movie, why this is wrong and this is right...and the list goes on. We are past behaviors and down to heart issues. We are walking through hard things together. Living in two worlds. Leaving people behind that we love dearly. WHY we are leaving those people behind. We are sculpting little people into big people. But the idea of me sculpting anything is freaking me out.<br />
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More and more everyday, I am realizing what a HUGE responsibility this parenting thing is. My babies are His, but He has entrusted them to me to raise for Him. This is awesome & humbling, but sometimes I just wish that He had given me a list with exactly what to do in every situation that comes up with them, like- "When they whine, you do this." "When they ask this question, you say this." There are a lot of good books on parenting out there & I am the first one to jump on the bandwagon of this parenting method or that way of discipline but when it comes down to it, I try it for a while & then quit when I'm discouraged.<br />
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I have great kids. They are imaginative, creative, & bless me so much. But I want them to have an impact for the Lord. How do you raise a world-changer? How do you prepare them for what's coming? How do you teach them to love but not to compromise? How to resist temptation? How to hear God's voice?<br />
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My greatest fear is losing my kids- not necessarily to death, but to the world. It scares me TO DEATH. I have watched so many kids from amazing godly homes, with awesome parents walk away, some of them being my own family. My parents have struggled with feelings of failure, inadequacy, & guilt. But I, and everyone else, tell them, "It isn't your fault. You were faithful and obedient and raised them for the Lord. It's their choice."<br />
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So...why am I afraid? I am afraid because it is my job to make them godly adults. I am afraid that I won't say or do the things that make them love God. I am afraid that my methods & programs won't work.<br />
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Slowly and surely, like a sunrise, the truth is dawning on my stubborn, fear driven self.<br />
My kids are His. He has given me all I need to be a mother because HE is all I need. He is the one who saves. He is the one who creates and makes a world-changer. He has given me His word & His Spirit to tell & show me what to do and say. And so much of it is, a Spirit walk. I am inadequate. But He isn't. I don't have the answers, but He does. All He asks is that I be faithful to my calling as their mother. <br />
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Joshua Christopher- God is my salvation, bearing Christ.</div>
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Christiana Faith- Graceful follower of Christ, to trust.</div>
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He does the work, the changing, that makes them world-changers. He's always faithful.</div>
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<br />Candyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16773729246194736997noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3191620148704294731.post-13016361811441633112015-01-13T12:22:00.001+08:002015-01-13T20:35:25.353+08:00My Love/Hate Relationship With Change2015...It feels weird writing that. Weird and exciting. The past few months have been a whirlwind of busyness, holidays, family & friends, speaking at churches, and literally traveling around the world. Our plans & lives have been tossed, rearranged, changed & dissected multiple times. I have a strange relationship with change. I mostly hate it. But it is exciting at the same time, because I never know exactly what's coming.<br />
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Our ministry has changed from flying airplanes to one of strategy & assessments for at least this year. I feel a little bit of an identity crisis as we have always identified ourselves as a missionary pilot family. My house is even decorated in airplanes for crying out loud. This is where my hate relationship with change comes in. When it starts messing with my identity...funny the things we find our identity in. Usually something that can change in the blink of an eye.<br />
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I recently took a personality test that was actually very accurate...I am an ESFJ- a Sentinel. Someone who stands in the same place! The SAME place. Unfortunately, it is hard to stay in the same place and go very far with God.<br />
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There is a lot of stuff out nowadays about being true to your self, embracing your inner self, etc. I think there is some truth to some of it, but to be honest, a lot of it is bunk. God has given each of us unique personalities, strengths, weaknesses, things we like and dislike, preferences, passions and callings. But I've discovered something. A lot of times, He asks us to do things, to follow Him into something or somewhere that we don't like, that we aren't "gifted" for, & that simply "just isn't me." My life is a life of change- constant change. And guess what? I am a SENTINEL, a TYPE A, a steady.<br />
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But Jesus says-<br />
"And Jesus called to Him the throng with His disciples and said to them, If anyone intends to come after Me, let him deny himself [forget, ignore, disown, and lose sight of himself and his own interests] and take up his cross, and [joining Me as a disciple and siding with My party] follow with Me [continually, cleaving steadfastly to Me]." -Mark 8:34 AMP<br />
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I use the excuse a lot that, "This is just not me." Well, I'm right. It's not. It's HIM. And He has called me to it. And I would be miserable if I decided to do anything but what He has called me to. Sometimes I have wondered what it means to deny myself- well, for me, right now, I have my answer. To step out in obedience to this life of change & know that HE will be all I need. If HE called me to something that I was "capable" of, I wouldn't really need Him, would I?<br />
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This truly has been a rambling post...thanks for reading, supporting, & living life with me. It's truly an adventure, this missionary life.<br />
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<br />Candyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16773729246194736997noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3191620148704294731.post-79914450157416447782014-07-27T17:19:00.000+08:002014-07-27T17:31:32.876+08:00When Life Doesn't Turn Out How You Planned or HopedI have sat down to try and write this several times, but just couldn't. It has just been too fresh & overwhelming.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">2006</td></tr>
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For those of you who don't know me personally, I am from a big family. I have 15 brothers & sisters. I am the oldest & have one biological brother. When I was 9 years old, my parents began to adopt other children. Lots of people have asked me what I thought about it, has it been hard, would I go back and change anything, etc. And I will answer that later.<br />
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Growing up in a family that big was definitely an experience with many fun times and many hard ones. As each child became part of our family, whether a baby or a teenager, boy or girl, my heart stretched a little bigger as love grew and I accepted each of them as a real brother or sister. There were many children that my parents were asked to take in that they had to say "No" to and yet others that the Lord led them to say "Yes" to. And I believe with all my heart that each of them were chosen specifically for our family. Over the next 12 years, 14 precious people were brought into our family.<br />
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Over the years, one question has been more common than all the others- "How did your parents do it?" I have wondered that myself actually. I really have wondered if they were the real Superman & Wonder Woman in disguise. What I do know is this. They got up ridiculously early in the morning to have time with Jesus & went to bed crazy late listening to everyone talk about their struggles. I have watched them laugh, cry, triumph and be brought low. They have poured every ounce of everything they are into their children. They were Christ to us. They read us His word, taught us His ways, showed us how to live. They gave us all a chance at living a wonderful life for the Lord & gave us everything we needed to do it. They had wonderful plans for us & had every reason to believe that we would be mighty men & women for God. They gave up careers, friendships, money, comfort, sleep and countless other things for the sake of love. For years...day after day.<br />
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But life hasn't gone as planned or as they hoped.<br />
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Almost all of my brothers and sisters have totally and completely walked away from Love. They chose to give into their desires & sin & are living lives completely apart from the Lord. They have broke my parents hearts. Said unimaginably horrible things, told lies about them, cursed them...the most recent one, within the last 6 weeks. A little girl that we got as a 1 year old baby. We have all loved her from Day 1. Now she is a beautiful 18 year old girl who walked out into the world and left my parents, family, & the Lord in the dust... Half of them, I don't even know where there are, how they are, if they have food or a place to sleep, if they are safe or not...it hurts enough watching your brothers and sisters do this, but imagine being their mommy & daddy!<br />
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It is so incredibly hard for me to watch. WHY??? I do not understand. The very hardest thing for me through all of this is watching what it has done to my parents. Having their hearts broken over and over. Heart wrenching pain of betrayal, worry to the point that you're not sure you even want to go on. Dragging themselves out of bed day after day, keeping going, taking the next step, washing the next dish, preaching the next sermon, because that's all you know to do. The onslaught of pain hasn't stopped for years. It continues to this day. No rest. No pause. And still children in their home that they continue to pour out and love. They are the icon of faithfulness. As one leaves and they stand and watch their lives work walk away, they gather the ones still around in their arms and continue on in the calling God gave them so many years ago when a two little blond & red headed boys walked through our front door.<br />
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Their lives or the lives of their children have NOT turned out like they hoped or planned. We have had endless telephone conversations, tears & sobbing, feelings of failure. Hopelessness. The feeling of a life lived in vain..."Has anything we have done made a difference?"<br />
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But as I have told them many times, as I am sure many others have, our success in this life is not based on results. It is based on whether or not we are faithful & have obeyed what the Lord has called us to do. And, guess what? THEY HAVE! They continue to do so to this day. Day after day...<br />
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The Lord gave my mom a promise many years ago, that all her children would walk with the Lord. She clings to that promise and believes and knows that the Lord will keep it. Through tears, I have heard her remind me & herself of that promise, clinging onto His word for life!<br />
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What did I think about all the kids? Was it hard? Would I change anything? It was hard. There were times I didn't want to share my parents or my room or my stuff. There were times where I wished they wouldn't keep my parents' constantly occupied so I could talk to them too. But it was amazing too. We had so much fun together! As I said earlier, I believed the Lord chose each one of them so not accepting them just wasn't an option. I love each of them as my brothers & sisters and always will. And no, I wouldn't change it because I couldn't imagine life without them & God used them all in my life to make me who I am.<br />
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To my daddy and mommy, and the other daddies and mommies whose kids have gone astray-<br />
YOU ARE A SUCCESS! You have obeyed. You have been faithful to what the Lord has called you to. You have given Christ to your children and given them a chance and all the tools the need to live a God-glorifying life. The results are HIS. Your lives have made a difference. There are people in the Philippines hearing about Christ & receiving Bibles in their language because you have been faithful. There are 3 precious little girls in Texas being raised for Jesus & their daddy & mommy living for Him in their community & church. There are thousands of people who have watched you walk through this pain & seen JESUS. You have shown them how to be faithful and there aren't many examples of that anymore. I love you both so very much. Your reward in heaven will be great!!!<br />
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So...when life doesn't turn out how you planned or hoped? You keep being faithful and obeying what the Lord has called you to because that IS success in God's eyes.<br />
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<br />Candyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16773729246194736997noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3191620148704294731.post-64421548654802229022014-07-08T17:32:00.001+08:002014-07-08T17:32:54.856+08:00Half A Decade of The Changeable & The Unchanging<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHEoRDFwoi4uJnIdSMPg48rIo-LeN0seAHWEq-q3w9EyroSI2qDNa2V39zl84X6_lDKEcB8x9URUw0b6sh9XnxBRDqeJd8Y7tD9fxE3bYiRLV-8IqOxOb2jdKumbdfDY7A9SiVpEDS5Tw6/s1600/2009-06-0011.TIF" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHEoRDFwoi4uJnIdSMPg48rIo-LeN0seAHWEq-q3w9EyroSI2qDNa2V39zl84X6_lDKEcB8x9URUw0b6sh9XnxBRDqeJd8Y7tD9fxE3bYiRLV-8IqOxOb2jdKumbdfDY7A9SiVpEDS5Tw6/s1600/2009-06-0011.TIF" height="213" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">July 2009</td></tr>
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So today, July 8th, marks our 5 year anniversary of living in the Philippines. I think "half a decade" sounds better. Makes us sound more mature and wiser or something...(ha!)<br />
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When we said our goodbyes & tearfully walked away from our family, friends, & everything familiar, we boarded the airplane with high expectations & excitement as we moved halfway across the globe to a new world of jungles, islands, & oceans. Our babies were 4 and 2 years old. We experienced culture shock, a new language, and city life for the first year while we lived in the capital city of Manila to learn Tagalog. The view from our window changed from the rolling hills of a Texas ranch to the 9th floor of an apartment building in the one of the most crowded, smoggiest cities on earth. Instead of being in the majority, we suddenly stuck out like a sore thumb in a sea of beautiful, dark-skinned, dark eyed people.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj8eeoSLZwAM-K9gjNcKy4eHGG-iJX-lK2Yzs52yAWejUYJyqTVeYeEUo_Cyzz8hzZJ7L1y2bqJeUeAdoDGdDaZ-qKn1RA8iVifvaOCWLwmewAAI6jMqmvR4vl4RzSZwgY6TDrD-V6Tm6V/s1600/DSC_1848.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj8eeoSLZwAM-K9gjNcKy4eHGG-iJX-lK2Yzs52yAWejUYJyqTVeYeEUo_Cyzz8hzZJ7L1y2bqJeUeAdoDGdDaZ-qKn1RA8iVifvaOCWLwmewAAI6jMqmvR4vl4RzSZwgY6TDrD-V6Tm6V/s1600/DSC_1848.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">July 2010</td></tr>
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But slowly & surely, with the Lord who called us always there, "home," in our minds, became less and less the place we had left and became more and more our new island country in the Pacific. Our "normal" changed. The way we looked at things changed. Our expectations changed.<br />
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After a year in Manila, we packed up once again and moved to the island of Palawan which has been our home for the last 4 years. We have flown the airplane on hundreds of flights, bought cargo, flown in Bibles, visited the missionaries in the remote locations, learned the language of Tagalog, homeschooled our kids, had 3 people live with us, had lots of people over, & clung to the Lord with every ounce of our being.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6fQykh3e3YClLy92j0Az89X9lIDAu0fQ91TUU1b7T5Vr7amM464vfSPIWNtVREkpwJ7YGaFt0fidhp_IgDrvyrl9cbNRKRKcMjLLCFbeS3R00Urum-_OB045fL3BIif5fnO0Zi2QBK9Gq/s1600/IMG_0554.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6fQykh3e3YClLy92j0Az89X9lIDAu0fQ91TUU1b7T5Vr7amM464vfSPIWNtVREkpwJ7YGaFt0fidhp_IgDrvyrl9cbNRKRKcMjLLCFbeS3R00Urum-_OB045fL3BIif5fnO0Zi2QBK9Gq/s1600/IMG_0554.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">July 2011</td></tr>
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We have had glorious moments- witnessed people come to Christ, read His Word in their own language for the first time, attended baptisms & weddings, moved people into new villages, laughed & celebrated with friends, & seen the fruits of years of labor.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKgiit6kPsQoHHiqjje41crmeVSX10Ca-9BWJ1XsNzicDghHQOnSFYlvcfx5U0CVyA5rGpioDHET4zbaOQwJJsCSaF_KEpuCPgjdtGThCOtVoZI-zz_VO8rlaUla6845m2w5qrEZdGi4F2/s1600/Dalton+family-2818.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKgiit6kPsQoHHiqjje41crmeVSX10Ca-9BWJ1XsNzicDghHQOnSFYlvcfx5U0CVyA5rGpioDHET4zbaOQwJJsCSaF_KEpuCPgjdtGThCOtVoZI-zz_VO8rlaUla6845m2w5qrEZdGi4F2/s1600/Dalton+family-2818.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">July 2012</td></tr>
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We have had hard moments- gone through water shortages, power outages, been unappreciated & talked about, have dealt with hard news from home, seen people hurting, people die, devastation from typhoons, felt very lonely, and often lost our vision.<br />
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One day, you feel so encouraged & the next, so defeated. There is no stability or predictability in the life we live. It is always changing.<br />
Our kids are now 9 and 7. They have lived more than half of their lives here. We have spent almost half of our married life here.<br />
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We have changed. I will always remember what someone said to me when we were home for our furlough- "You are not the same people as when you left." I like to think and hope to think that we have changed for the better- that we have changed to look more like Christ. It is our hearts cry to be changed-to love like He does, to hate what He hates, to see like He sees.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihwRe0YELNFhQpE-Y-haS-tlUO1wp05N2fX-pAHhmh9S4aDle_9reKuIwTj6nN39IkGQmNDOYuTq5PpoYZiM53iC6QUJr4tH4BSv2ylfJkJhOAcBvhPstASYeWg-Rn07Q_1C05sC7DYixW/s1600/IMG_3310.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihwRe0YELNFhQpE-Y-haS-tlUO1wp05N2fX-pAHhmh9S4aDle_9reKuIwTj6nN39IkGQmNDOYuTq5PpoYZiM53iC6QUJr4tH4BSv2ylfJkJhOAcBvhPstASYeWg-Rn07Q_1C05sC7DYixW/s1600/IMG_3310.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">July 2013</td></tr>
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We have changed because Christ is The Unchanging One. He has been there & led us through every one of those glorious & hard moments. He mends & tears, pulls & holds, loves & allows pain. He shows us how love looks (very rarely what we think it looks like), how to be strong & resist the enemy (mostly by lying prostrate on the floor), & removes the blinders of judgment & lies (usually seen as conviction & godliness) from our eyes to see Truth about ourselves & others. We are no better than the next & we are here to show the world the glory of The Unchanging One by being changed.<br />
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We look forward to many more years of our missionary journey serving in the Philippines or wherever the Lord will lead. We look forward to more change (mostly) & are excited to see what all the Lord will do. We are so thankful for each of you who have been on this journey with us, by holding us up in prayer, giving to us financially, & being encouragers through the "half decade of change."<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT85qJCEULoPQuUpSigKIG_ebkXmtG1fE1pI2tUzBi4WPSHHrxoSVIhO_1u0xiVQP0pyQIPWZNeeF-p1q0b-7Y2N_VUTgTTnYNp1eUOdQQwe0a63oVz2qIzpXFsxOVjA6cDFfmgqU2hzmB/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT85qJCEULoPQuUpSigKIG_ebkXmtG1fE1pI2tUzBi4WPSHHrxoSVIhO_1u0xiVQP0pyQIPWZNeeF-p1q0b-7Y2N_VUTgTTnYNp1eUOdQQwe0a63oVz2qIzpXFsxOVjA6cDFfmgqU2hzmB/s1600/photo.JPG" height="320" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">July 2014</td></tr>
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<br />Candyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16773729246194736997noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3191620148704294731.post-35111549785509806412014-06-04T09:19:00.000+08:002014-06-04T09:19:40.528+08:00Kids First Recital<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPvlL2IZhE4cB-zjLEm2iM6bgatDEmjEN5D_V2m49wKdQmCUtwHNxSlOLvMnbQb_sWftkhTei9rqQcT9MSpeBV1Q-jtPpAJmM7vyxqTzDT_ePvwreonuBmxVn4Ah6KG1CLTb6AZNp73z4A/s1600/IMG_4762.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPvlL2IZhE4cB-zjLEm2iM6bgatDEmjEN5D_V2m49wKdQmCUtwHNxSlOLvMnbQb_sWftkhTei9rqQcT9MSpeBV1Q-jtPpAJmM7vyxqTzDT_ePvwreonuBmxVn4Ah6KG1CLTb6AZNp73z4A/s1600/IMG_4762.JPG" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
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Last Saturday, the kids had their first piano & voice recital. They did really well for only having 2 months of lessons! I think I was more nervous than they were! It was held at the little Baptist church in town that we have been attending. It was a great experience for the kids (complete with a power outage & all!) & music lessons has been a good opportunity to get them out and socializing with other kids. Since Josh & I both play the piano & love music, we are excited to see our kids love for music developing as well!<br />
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Here is a video of their performance. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhftj_uMRoOsKJHx58xi8-w2AIxLQmyQRls4Hutvf4u7WabEVk-1PGtdbWZmaqdtJZwJox2TLg8-ipPL_rGGDz0AILjZBE-zF9qXASW7Bc7pSYeKuYc_l2X_pA8-H12hyyibxOAjBmSt2ng/s1600/IMG_4758.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhftj_uMRoOsKJHx58xi8-w2AIxLQmyQRls4Hutvf4u7WabEVk-1PGtdbWZmaqdtJZwJox2TLg8-ipPL_rGGDz0AILjZBE-zF9qXASW7Bc7pSYeKuYc_l2X_pA8-H12hyyibxOAjBmSt2ng/s1600/IMG_4758.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br />Candyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16773729246194736997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3191620148704294731.post-70547529125044021572014-05-28T07:49:00.002+08:002014-05-28T08:24:28.846+08:00What It's Like- Getting AroundFor the first 6 months of living in the Philippines, we did not have our own car to get us used to using public transportation. Living in Manila, anytime you are on the road, in a vehicle or walking is an adventure to say the least! I had no idea that traffic, people, and vehicles could function in the way they do in Manila!!! Everytime we are in a vehicle, I audibly scream at least twice, usually many more times at our near chances with death! But I am proud to say, I am one of the few missionary ladies who drives in Manila! (bragging I know) We must have talked quite a bit how dangerous it was, because I overheard our 2 year old (at the time) telling our 4 year old- "Bubba, you must hold onto Daddy & Mommy's hands tight when we are walking on the street or you will be squished by a jeepney and you will DIE!"<br />
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There have been many videos taken & documentaries done on Manila driving, but here are a few of my favorites!</div>
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This is a friend of ours driving to work on his motorcycle.<br />
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This is me driving through a flooded street in Manila.</div>
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<a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00z08wd" target="_blank">Here's an English bus driver driving in Manila on "Toughest Places To Be A Bus Driver."</a><br />
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Island driving is much slower paced, but still pretty crazy. We have our own car & motorcycle & I am practicing to get my motorcycle license!<br />
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The two most common vehicles of transportation are jeepney & tricycle (trike). They are very colorfully decorated & there seems to be an unofficial contest to see who can trick theirs out the most.</div>
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It is amazing to me how many people they can pack on these things. They aren't just people movers either. They carry a crazy amount of cargo too!<br />
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How much it costs depends on how far you are going & sometimes on the driver. A basic fare on a jeepney in Manila is P8/$.18 to go 2.5 miles/4 km. Here, in Palawan, I can hire a tricycle for P50/$1.15 to take me to the grocery store or I can share a trike with other passengers & it only costs P12/$.28. You hail a jeep or trike pretty much the same as you hail a taxi. The jeeps have designated routes, so you just find the one that has the route you wish to travel written on the side & wave it down. You jump on, squeeze your backside or sometimes half your backside onto the vinyl seat & hang on. You pass your fare up to the driver and say, "Bayad po." (Fare, sir.) When you come close to your destination, you shout, "Para, po" (Stop, sir) or knock on the ceiling of the jeep. For a tricycle, you flag one down & tell the driver where you want to go. He can accept or refuse and if there is a lot of traffic, may ask for a higher price. If her refuses or you don't like the price, it can take quite a while to find a trike to take you where you want to go.<br />
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Public transport is pretty cheap & convenient. My kids love riding on jeeps & trikes!<br />
Buses are also common for long distances, taxis are popular in the city, with personally owned motorcycles & cars being the least common.<br />
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Driving & getting around has definitely been one of our biggest adjustments to living here & I don't realize until someone visits just how used to it we have gotten! My mom flipped out when she visited us because of how everyone drove. It is definitely a shock if it is not something you are used to.<br />
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I will end with this video that we made while living in Manila on the many ways of transportation.<br />
We love the Philippines!<br />
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Candyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16773729246194736997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3191620148704294731.post-47781076385760308172014-05-03T13:02:00.001+08:002014-05-03T13:20:29.331+08:00Vapor Life<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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"Live every moment like it was your last." You see the quote everywhere. To be honest, it makes me exhausted just reading it. There are days I feel like I am fighting just to be able to get through the day and do the basic things...Is it even possible?<br />
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I have been reminded several times in the last few days of the brevity, the complete and total shortness & quickness of this life.<br />
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<span style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">"How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog--it's here a little while, then it's gone." -James 4:14</span><span class="p" style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 13px; text-align: justify;"><br /></span><br />
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A lady with 5 other children went into labor yesterday morning- no complications, just like every other pregnancy. By the afternoon, she had a new baby boy, but was suffering from severe hemorrhaging. When we got the call to bring the plane in to fly her out, Josh & I scrambled to get the little bit of medical gear together that we had, oxygen, bandages, & meds. As we were getting him out to the car, we received another call informing us that it was too late. She had died.<br />
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Heartsick & helplessness just overwhelmed me. Why had they waited so long to call? If we had just known sooner. What if? If only? WHY?<br />
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I talked to my sweet Papa on the phone this morning and he told me about a dear friend of his. He was fit and happy in his 80's with no aches & pains to speak of. Less than a month later, he was dead. Cancer covered his whole body and he didn't even know. My Papa will be a pallbearer at his funeral in a few days.<br />
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Life is SO SHORT & you never know when it will end for you or someone you love. I understand the heart behind living every moment as if it were your last. But, it can easily become motivated by fear. Fear that this will be the last moment. In my life, this would be lived out in every moment filled with tears, holding my children, spending time with my husband, never moving beyond my comfort zone, & letting the rest of the world go to waste. For you it may look totally different. Now, don't get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with throwing all else to the wind on focusing in on your family in comfort. But is this all that God has called us to? Living every moment in fear that it's our last or someone else's last?<br />
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Live every moment with hope. Hope that the Lord is in control. When you clean your house instead of playing with your kids. When you played with your kids all day & you left your house a mess. When you met with a friend in need instead of going to the gym. When you don't meet with a friend because God has someone else in mind. Hear His voice. He will guide your days & your every decision.<br />
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Life is short. Too short to second guess your every decision & take upon your shoulders the responsibility of the outcome of every decision. Live every moment at the feet of Jesus, hearing His voice, full of hope.<br />
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Our loving, serving, & doing must flow out of hope from our place at His feet.</div>
Candyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16773729246194736997noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3191620148704294731.post-47945280517305120582014-04-08T15:19:00.002+08:002014-04-08T15:22:07.502+08:00He Comes Sometimes it is really hard to put into words the thoughts and feelings that build up inside. I have been struggling with so many things lately that seem so big and important. Never-ending. I am so focused on them that it seems that is all I see. Drowning...burdened...in silence...alone.<br />
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I want to know for sure that He hears. That He sees. I'm waiting for a booming voice, a shaking, fiery revelation.<br />
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And then HE comes.<br />
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<span class="text 1Kgs-19-11" id="en-NLT-9375" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“Go out and stand before me on the mountain,” the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> told him. And as Elijah stood there, the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> was not in the earthquake.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span class="text 1Kgs-19-12" id="en-NLT-9376" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span class="text 1Kgs-19-13" id="en-NLT-9377" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And a voice said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">-1 Kings 19:11-13</span></div>
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What am I doing here? In a cave of whining & complaining, doubt & fear. And then HE comes & I can feel Him. I can see Him. I can hear Him.</div>
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HE came in a long awaited email.</div>
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HE came in a gentle reprimand from a loved one.</div>
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HE came in a conversation with a friend.</div>
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HE came in a picture of a little girl's baptism.</div>
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HE came just now in a little coffee shop on a island in the Pacific where I sit with my computer & my eyes full of tears. </div>
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HE came in a gentle whisper.</div>
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HE came. HE comes. HE's coming.</div>
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I just had to shut my whiny mouth & listen. </div>
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"I'm here, my beloved child. Come, sit at my feet. Rest in my embrace. You are mine. I care. I hear. I see. I come."</div>
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The Lord always puts a song on my heart, no matter what I am walking through, and hears the latest one- <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77cwl530Ngg" target="_blank">I Can Feel You- Bethel Tides</a></div>
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So, be encouraged. The <a href="http://www.theramblingmissionarywife.blogspot.com/2014/04/radio-silent.html" target="_blank">radio silence</a> will end. He always comes!</div>
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Thank you to all of you who pray for & encourage me!!!</div>
Candyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16773729246194736997noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3191620148704294731.post-88907021087553175382014-04-01T16:15:00.001+08:002014-04-01T16:16:47.564+08:00Radio Silent<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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You know on the superhero-spy movies, when someone goes "radio silent?" Radios are regular part of my life & so I feel kind of connected to them. They speak my language. Radio silent- off the grid- going dark. That's how I would describe my life lately. Radio silent. I've gone dark. I've retreated into my "safe house." </div>
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Many of you have probably noticed less Facebook posts, short-replies to texts, unreturned emails. To be perfectly honest, I'm having trouble dealing with life which equals social radio silence. A big reason is sometimes it seems like God has "gone dark."<br />
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It feels like I'm screaming into the wind & He doesn't hear. I read His Word and it doesn't jump off the page like I long for it to. I desire more than anything else to glorify God with my life & earnestly seek Him with all that I am. To revel in His love. But it's hard when you just don't feel it...the world can be so overwhelming at times. And sometimes the places I am so sure that He is, He isn't. Where is He?<br />
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Seeing others pain- a friend whose baby met Jesus before he met his mommy. Struggling family members looking for a fresh start. Pain of my own- people not treating my husband with the respect I feel he deserves, disobedient kids, unanswered questions, unknown questions & the biggest one for me- not feeling needed. It seems like the people who should be "for me," aren't. And comparison. Such a joy-stealer. Ugh.<br />
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People ask how I am. "Fine!" I'm all for being honest, but how do you be honest when you can't even put into words what's going on in your heart? So I stick with the safe answer.<br />
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The past few months have been a hard time of doubt. Doubt is pretty fast runner & seems like no matter how hard I try, I can't manage to stay ahead. "Who am I, really?" "What has God called me to?" "I don't even know what my gifts are." "Are we really where we're supposed to be?" Funny how the last question usually comes when things aren't going the way we hoped. And doubt quickly transforms to lies. "I am a nobody. I don't have a calling. No one cares. I can't do anything for God." Nasty lies, so destructive. And the battle goes on and on in my heart & mind.<br />
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It is during these times that I have to hold on for all I am worth to the truth. The glorious truth that isn't based on what I feel or on what is going on.<br />
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A Steven Curtis Chapman song has kept coming in my mind that expresses it perfectly-<br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2goGIDFssl4&feature=kp" target="_blank">Sometimes He Comes in the Clouds</a>.<br />
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HE IS MY HOPE. HE IS MY CALLING. HE IS FOR ME. HE IS MINE & I AM HIS. HE CARES. HE KNOWS. HE SEES. HE IS WRITING HIS STORY.<br />
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So hold onto hope, friends. HE IS IN THE DARK. HE IS IN THE SILENCE.<br />
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<br />Candyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16773729246194736997noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3191620148704294731.post-58242800144959695882014-02-27T15:19:00.002+08:002014-02-27T17:22:52.991+08:00My Words For The Year- Sink & FailI have been seeing all these blogs of women sharing the "word" God gave them for this year. Abandon. Hope. Simple. Good words. Well, I wanted a God word. So I started praying for one. Didn't quite get what I expected.<br />
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I go through phases or seasons in my life when I start to question things. I start asking "why" questions. I start doubting. "Am I missing something? Is this really what God called me to?" When nothing that I do seems to matter & I get sucked up in what seems like a never ending race. A race to get ahead. Ahead of what's coming next. I want to be prepared. I want to know what's coming. I don't like surprises. I want to be on top of things. No laundry backed up, no school projects left undone. I strive & strive, but at the end of the day, as I climb into bed, I wonder what in the world I did that day.<br />
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I am exhausted by the thoughts of being & doing all I think I am "called" to. Being the attractive, gorgeous, appealing, & understanding wife my husband wants. Raising godly, well-educated, world-impacting kids. Feeding my family healthy, organic food. Winning souls for Christ & impacting the world for The Lord. Being a sensitive friend who keeps up with my 1,000 Facebook friends on an intimate & personal basis. Being an example of patience, goodness, & gratefulness in EVERY situation. Filling my mind with wholesome knowledge by hours of extensive reading & study. DOING GREAT THINGS FOR GOD'S KINGDOM! (These are a few of the people I like to imagine myself as.) <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9ENBGO6qnF8bojEX6Q9FFx9u64DU9wZO-SquFnuUCrP0BnpLWfbdpGvt_e4GR-mMm004dzxDXKoNMwOaucoKJxqscculh9z3n3V_0CL2NX0poSzxLZOsYy8jhz861ABtqjDFd2YxJYo3c/s1600/Moore_1036_t728.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9ENBGO6qnF8bojEX6Q9FFx9u64DU9wZO-SquFnuUCrP0BnpLWfbdpGvt_e4GR-mMm004dzxDXKoNMwOaucoKJxqscculh9z3n3V_0CL2NX0poSzxLZOsYy8jhz861ABtqjDFd2YxJYo3c/s1600/Moore_1036_t728.jpg" height="200" width="133" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Beth Moore</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvAuM-1EiI4_KZ8tK_PBepgm8DMVnHFAlN47CYqpRL0pmXa5xDIMMgnqz3les-Ln0YbnFyFNlwj7Mih_n_rYp80rIQJf4sE860zekUC5o0wtWmLPW6hxt9bS5BvKDnBn4liu2n3KT_XCEa/s1600/001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvAuM-1EiI4_KZ8tK_PBepgm8DMVnHFAlN47CYqpRL0pmXa5xDIMMgnqz3les-Ln0YbnFyFNlwj7Mih_n_rYp80rIQJf4sE860zekUC5o0wtWmLPW6hxt9bS5BvKDnBn4liu2n3KT_XCEa/s1600/001.jpg" height="200" width="130" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Elisabeth Elliott</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt8aDWLWbaC8oaWD4-vsu1wrp0SBxVmqZ65uOF8cUohkI0P3vLD3LT1R9WZh_bdtafuuxx96TI-AvD1KiMAqXPfiy1Rad_o6bA5VlBo_mN7tsX2u38oJ-PZ6o5vK7xyQRw8GtvIwYILhd6/s1600/858097-uc1423_eowyn.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt8aDWLWbaC8oaWD4-vsu1wrp0SBxVmqZ65uOF8cUohkI0P3vLD3LT1R9WZh_bdtafuuxx96TI-AvD1KiMAqXPfiy1Rad_o6bA5VlBo_mN7tsX2u38oJ-PZ6o5vK7xyQRw8GtvIwYILhd6/s1600/858097-uc1423_eowyn.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Eowyn</td></tr>
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I'm tired just after writing that. And it is kind of ridiculous when you write it all out. The things we expect of ourselves are utterly crazy, but we expect it and want it all the same. And you know? None of these things are bad or sinful. They are all godly & Biblical desires even. But are they what God has called me to or what I have called myself to?<br />
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As I have been struggling with these things the past few weeks, I've had a nice, wake-up-call, slap across the face. You know the feeling? You need it, but it doesn't necessarily feel good?<br />
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There is a verse I have on my bedroom wall, one we are all familiar with. </div>
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"Be still & know that I am God." -Psalm 46:10 (NLT) or </div>
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"Cease striving & know that I am God." (NASB)</div>
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The word used for "be still & cease striving" is the hebrew word- <i>raphah. </i>The original way it is read is a verb that means "sink." And the short definition means "fail." What? "Sink and fail and know that I am God." When I am in the water, the last thing I want to do is sink. I fight with everything in me not to. And fail? But isn't that what the list of my "called tos" above equals? But I don't like failing. Failing is bad right? Not when I am failing in my own unrealistic expectations & giving in, sinking into what God has for me. </div>
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I'm going to have every good intention of getting up & curling my hair & looking cute for my husband, but after being up with a kid all night, with my puffy eyes & yoga pants, I know He is God because He loves me just the way I am (And my husband does too for that matter!) I'm going to try my very hardest & fail at being an awesome Mom & never losing patience & then I'll know He is God & my hardest isn't good enough. I'll train & teach & pour into my kids today only to have the same attitudes to deal with tomorrow & I know He is God because He's the only one who changes hearts. I will be kind & soft spoken most of the day, but will blow the whole thing when I'm just fed up with the person & I will know He is God because He works so wonderfully in spite of me. </div>
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This has been a hard one to wrap my mind around & I am in no way saying that we as women shouldn't have expectations or dreams. But make sure they are God's, not yours.</div>
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So, be still, my friends. Cease Striving. Sink. Know that He is God.<br />
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<a href="http://theramblingmissionarywife.blogspot.com/2014/02/my-words-for-year-sink-fail.html" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixIkZqqN0gu4VeYQx3fJZSBhZnFQxAkwHBxT_BWPFGRxsmeEbulTQr3aUa3rJzqAJBjmsALyKGankT8-c_BLhSWcT8DMyA8HJHt97Zk0H4aCZi_jRnIedXGGeTYsLbfrymoL4vxwj__u-E/s1600/sinking-1.jpg" height="248" width="400" /></a></div>
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Candyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16773729246194736997noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3191620148704294731.post-88165275755947314932014-02-12T11:30:00.001+08:002014-02-12T11:30:08.057+08:00Typhoon Haiyan Relief Video<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/A8jw8Irvck8" width="480"></iframe><br /><br />
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We were so blessed to be a part of the relief efforts during Typhoon Haiyan. We are so thankful to all of you who made it possible for these people to receive food, shelter, & the love of Christ!Candyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16773729246194736997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3191620148704294731.post-59970549197164971942014-02-05T18:13:00.000+08:002014-02-05T18:13:00.143+08:00After Typhoon HaiyanPlease visit our ministry website to read about all the ways God has provided to enable us & others to help in the aftermath of Typhoon Haiyan!<br />
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<a href="http://blogs.ntm.org/josh-dalton/2014/02/03/five-loaves-and-two-fish/" target="_blank">Five Loaves & Two Fish</a><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQsMaq5oHMpakj8MssKGc-vILoo0QQoX03kxEmJ-H_4qy4xBuzGmOFgQUiHmTS_cyQswVwjFgHnXzYj6PMPufB6AiTGHlv0D3Eo1ra-HZb0S10Q0QgHPB-Kxkbk7DyB7mMVLhV8P1CAyGu/s1600/P1000539.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQsMaq5oHMpakj8MssKGc-vILoo0QQoX03kxEmJ-H_4qy4xBuzGmOFgQUiHmTS_cyQswVwjFgHnXzYj6PMPufB6AiTGHlv0D3Eo1ra-HZb0S10Q0QgHPB-Kxkbk7DyB7mMVLhV8P1CAyGu/s1600/P1000539.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />Candyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16773729246194736997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3191620148704294731.post-17633536874057805972014-02-04T16:06:00.001+08:002014-02-04T20:14:11.377+08:00What It's Like- Food (Pagkain)<div style="text-align: center;">
And the answers to last week's food pictures are-</div>
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<u>Dinuguan</u></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">Dinuguan is a Filipino savory stew of meat and/or offal simmered in a rich, spicy dark gravy of pig blood, garlic, chili, and vinegar. The term dinuguan comes from the Filipino word dugo meaning "blood". Not one of my favorites...I've only got up the nerve to eat it once.</span></div>
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<u>Rambutan</u></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">A tropical fruit native to Southeast Asia. The name </span><i style="background-color: white; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">rambutan</i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"> is derived from the Malay/Indonesian</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"> word </span><i style="background-color: white; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">rambutan</i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">, meaning "hairy." </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; text-align: start;">The fruit flesh is translucent, whitish or very pale pink, with a sweet, mildly acidic flavor very reminiscent of grapes. My kids especially love this fruit & will eat as much as I let them.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; text-align: start;">We quickly learned within the first few days of moving to the Philippines that the main staple is rice. Rice for breakfast, lunch, & dinner. Like many countries in Asia, the livelihood of the Philippines is on growing & eating rice. There are actually several words for rice in the Tagalog language, depending upon what state the rice is in (uncooked, cooked, still growing, etc.). </span></div>
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Little Josh's favorite restaurant, "Mang Inasal," serves a ball of rice wrapped in banana leaves. This is when he was 4 years old. He has since learned that the only way to eat at "Mang Inasal" is with your hands. (The reason it's his favorite.)</div>
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Trying my hand at rice harvesting. (All done by hand.)</div>
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If you have money to buy more than rice, then you have "ulam" which is basically anything that goes with rice. Some of the most common are dried fish, a variety of vegetables, meat, or eggs.</div>
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We have several favorite "ulams." I will share a few links to recipes if you would like to try them!</div>
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One of my very favorite things about living in the Philippines is the abundance of fresh fruit! </div>
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Mangoes, pineapples, papayas, rambutan, bananas...there are actually 5 different kinds of bananas!</div>
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We have 2 mango trees as well as a banana tree in our yard. My personal favorite is a tiny citrus fruit called calamansi. It is similar to a key lime/lemon. It makes amazing juice & shakes & is great for seasoning as well. </div>
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Our meals vary greatly depending upon what ingredients are available. We have a young Filipino couple who lives with us, so we usually have one Filipino meal & one American meal a day. </div>
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Living on an island also equals lots of seafood!!! One of our favorites is fried shrimp, complete with heads, skins. & tails that you peel off to eat, & the kids' favorite- clam soup. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Fresh shrimp</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">King Crabs</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOoNk6r3BAYfm_jvR_fCHiqS0tsYbw30zRy9LIRX0uguIvcsRxqGhc9jlPbFdo0nNZi_KiYIPVIYTik7qri4r0ubBO2Pt6ycI_aCV50PAj8RRQqWj-HVGilwgEX82LkX9wyPSRomCzu9Bd/s1600/IMG_3490.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOoNk6r3BAYfm_jvR_fCHiqS0tsYbw30zRy9LIRX0uguIvcsRxqGhc9jlPbFdo0nNZi_KiYIPVIYTik7qri4r0ubBO2Pt6ycI_aCV50PAj8RRQqWj-HVGilwgEX82LkX9wyPSRomCzu9Bd/s1600/IMG_3490.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One big fish!</td></tr>
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And here are a few links to our favorite ulam!</div>
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<a href="http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/filipino-chicken-adobo-recipe.html" target="_blank">Chicken Adobo</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.pinoycookingrecipes.com/tinolang-manok-chicken-tinola.html" target="_blank">Tinola</a></div>
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<a href="http://allrecipes.com/recipe/filipino-lumpia-2/" target="_blank">Lumpia</a></div>
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Thanks for reading my "foody" article! </div>
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Next week is on shopping & getting around!</div>
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Ever ride one of these?</div>
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Candyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16773729246194736997noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3191620148704294731.post-89408458999076238672014-01-21T16:37:00.000+08:002014-01-21T16:37:07.630+08:00What It's Like- Our House & TownSo with the new year comes new posts & thoughts & I am finally getting around to starting my series on "What It's Like." The last two and half months have been non-stop craziness with the typhoon relief & though we are still involved some with relief efforts, it has slowed down enough for us to get a breath & return to some "normalcy" in our lives.<br />
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The first thing I thought I would tell you about is where we live- our town & house. There are many things that are very similar to living in America & many things that are not.<br />
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We live in the town of Puerto Princesa City on the island of Palawan. We have a commercial airport, a very recently built, small mall, with a beautiful grocery store that I am SUPER thankful for, a few restaurants, shops, & things that you would see in any town. But, we also have public, open air markets, sari-sari stores (teeny convenience store hut), ukay-ukays & wagwagans (2nd hand clothing store).<br />
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Puerto (what we call it) has several nicknames- The City In The Jungle, The Greenest City In The Philippines- and it literally is a city in the jungle. It is surrounded by jungle & ocean. In 2010, the population was 222,673 & the city limits literally cover 1/3 of the island. Our island is a popular tourist attraction & we have 1000s of tourists come through every year. The Puerto Princesa Subterranean River was recently named one of the 7 wonders of nature. We have yet to be able to visit it- just like anywhere you live, you rarely have time to become a tourist. There are many gorgeous beaches, but unlike you may think, the closest "clean" beach is about a 1 hour drive from our house. We try to go ever so often just to get away. The ocean is so calming to me & I absolutely love it! I am so thankful that we get to live right by it!<br />
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The temperature averages very consistently at 85-90F. We NEVER wear long sleeves except in businesses where they are running air con, as we call it here.<br />
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And our lovely home, my safe place, my kingdom & domain. I love it.<br />
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When we first moved in 3 1/2 years ago, I wasn't as sure about it as I am now. We did a lot of work, repainting everything, replacing some things...rats & termites are a constant battle here. But, slowly & surely it has become ours. For the interested parties, our house is made out of concrete & ipil wood, some of the hardest wood known to man. It is a very nice by Philippine standards & big even for us. We have 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a schoolroom/office, one big kitchen/dining/living room, a big porch, open basement where I do laundry, & open loft upstairs which is super hot during the day, but okay for family projects at night time. Houses here do not have hot water, but my handyman hubby has hooked up a gas water heater so we can have hot showers although cool showers seem to more of the norm here because of the heat & humidity! It's like a Texas summer all the time.<br />
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We have a beautiful yard full of lots of plant life. I have plumeria trees, banana tress, mango trees, malunggay (superfood), hibiscus, & many others. We are preparing a spot for a garden that we hope to plant this month. If I look out over my back yard, I can get a glimpse of the ocean that lies on the other side of the mangrove swamp. I dream of one day having a walkway out to the water, but as of now, it is impassable. </div>
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I have worked really hard to make my home a place that my family & I want to be- a place of rest & relaxation. To some, it probably seems extravagant for where we live & what we do but I am convinced that to last on the field, it is super important for your home to be a safe, relaxing place where you can be energized for life & ministry.<br />
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We also LOVE having people over! It's one of our favorite things. We also want our home to be a place others want to come- a place where we can feed them a good meal & hopefully give them a little encouragement. Lots of wonderful memories & good times have happened here...<br />
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We are Americans through & through, but God has called us to this little island in the Philippines & our hearts are here. This is our home & there is no where else we'd rather be!<br />
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Next week- What It's Like- FOOD!<br />
Can you guess what either of these are?<br />
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<br />Candyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16773729246194736997noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3191620148704294731.post-22560782822402382222013-12-19T13:05:00.003+08:002013-12-19T13:05:46.527+08:00Honest Holiday Feelings- 2 Years LaterOne of my favorite things about having a blog & journaling is looking back at what the Lord has taught me & brought me through. As I was looking back this week, my eyes fell on a post from 2 years ago, <a href="http://theramblingmissionarywife.blogspot.com/2011/11/honest-holiday-feelings.html" target="_blank">Honest Holiday Feelings</a>. I was really struggling. Nothing felt like Christmas. Hot, drippy, sweaty just doesn't feel Christmasy.<br />
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I'm not sure what has changed, but this year is different. Granted, I'm still struggling. We always are struggling with something. We wouldn't be human nor would we long for our REAL home if struggling ceased. It's still super hot & I still dripped sweat while decorating my tree this year. I still miss being with my family for the holidays, Starbucks Christmas drinks, boots & scarves. But I can honestly say that, there is no where I'd rather be than here on my little island home right now. I still can't pinpoint exactly what is different, but I'm pretty sure the key is purposeful thankfulness.<br />
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The last nine months have been the most difficult yet for us as a family. It has been a roller coaster ride that never ends. Going from being extremely busy to flying almost slacking off completely. Constant changing of plans & looming unknowns. Being hurt by people we love. Being incredibly blessed by others. Times of loneliness. Times of friends abundant. No stability. More goodbyes than I care to count. Joyful reunions...<br />
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We've watched our little island country slowly struggle to get back on its feet in the aftermath of the worst typhoon in history & helped in what little ways we can. It has been absolutely overwhelming as we have seen incredible destruction with smiling faces poking out of the rubble because now they have rice to eat.<br />
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It's amazing what looking into the face of tragedy does to your heart. Overflowing thankfulness is the only response. I know tragedy & sadness often make people hard & angry at God & I could be there as well. So easy. But I haven't been able to get this out of my mind- </div>
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<span style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">"So Jesus said to the twelve, "You do not want to go away also, do you?" </span><span class="highl" style="background-color: white; color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">Simon Peter answered Him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have words of eternal life." -John 6:67-68</span></div>
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<span class="highl" style="background-color: white; color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">Where else would I go? Who else has the words that speak life to the weary & hurting soul? </span></div>
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<span class="highl" style="background-color: white; color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">Thankfulness & gratitude. They make all the difference. Focusing on what I do have, not what I don't. Knowing who I serve. He speaks peace & life to my heart. </span></div>
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<span class="highl" style="background-color: white; color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">Whether you are with you family or far away from them this Christmas, in tropics or snow, with lots of presents under tree or with few, may your heart know the One who has the words of life. Let Him speak peace to you & thank Him. </span></div>
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<b style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><i>"The people here are so very, very happy for all the food things you bring us here!"</i></b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"> --Lucilla, grandma to many children and grandchildren on Bandit island that will now get to eat one meal today. One.</span></div>
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Candyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16773729246194736997noreply@blogger.com0