The Ramblings of A Missionary Wife

As a missionary, we get asked some weird questions, especially while on furlough. And we get asked a lot of the same questions. Common ones include- "So, don't you just love it there?" Is it like being on vacation all the time?" (ha!) "How many people have you led to Christ?" And probably one of the top ones is- "Is it safe over there?" The dictionary describes safe as: protected from or not exposed to danger or risk; not likely to be harmed or lost; uninjured with no harm done. I guess I understand what people are asking, but sometimes I want to ask them the same thing- "Are you safe here?" Don't get me wrong. I am all about safety and being aware and careful, but it seems more like a fear loaded question of, "Are you sure you should be doing what you are doing? Because you might get killed you know." Being the nerd I am, a good Lord of The Rings quote always brings balance... "It's a dangerous business, ...

Over the past couple of weeks, we have experienced something new with our kids. Grief. Not just crying over someone they missed but deep grieving over the losses they have experienced in their few short years of living in this fallen world. I was totally unprepared and have felt utterly helpless. Two weeks ago, we had the privilege of attending our annual mission conference. It is a great time to catch up on what all God is doing in the Philippines and reconnect with friends. Although we serve in the same country, serving on different islands makes it difficult for us to get together and it will sometimes even be a couple years in between visits. Our kids have friends here that they have grown up with since they were born, so it is a special time for them especially. After two weeks of fun and friends, we started our long trip back to our island. And that's when the tears began. I thought it was just the normal crying when we say goodbyes and gave my normal "comfort...

True confessions- Over the past few weeks, a lot of things have come to the surface for me that I feel like I have buried.  I am going to be very honest because I am just a normal person and even missionaries struggle and sin. I wanted to share about this not for you to feel sorry for me, but to show how awesome and faithful God has been to me. A year or so before we moved to the Philippines, I started having some anxiety symptoms, mind racing, constant stomach cramps, fatigue, and sadness, though at that time I didn't know that was what it was. After struggling for several months, I went to see our family doctor who is also a strong believer and good friend. He prescribed me a low dose of anxiety meds that helped with my symptoms and I have been on it for the past 7 years.  Three weeks after moving to the Philippines, my mom suffered a complete mental, emotional, and physical breakdown. Only by God's grace was I able to commit myself to being where I was, knowing tha...

Our whirlwind year began with flying back to the Philippines and preparations for moving all of our stuff from one island to another. As we were spending time with family around the holidays and packing up to come back to the Philippines, we were blessed with some encouragement from several people in our family that helped to change my perspective on things that were coming. You all know I don't like change. I blog about it pretty much every post. And I realized that I was so focused on the change that some of the excitement was being lost. Instead, our family kept saying how excited they were for us as we began our next adventure. And I thought- "Adventure. Hu. Sounds a lot more exciting than lots of change." And God whispered to my heart- "Living your life for me is and always will be an adventure." So that has become our word for this year. ADVENTURE. The definition of adventure is- 1. An exciting or very unusual experience. 2. Participation i...

Well, it's November. And yep, we were supposed to be back in the Philippines in October. I can't even count how many times our plans have been changed and how many times I have been asked, "Now, when are you leaving again?" Don't get me wrong- I LOVE my little home in the desert, being here for the holidays, Starbucks red cups, Target, (mom sigh)... but my heart is ready to go back. My friend and I were joking around the other day talking about how we anticipate/dread our husbands coming home for lunch because we never know what new plan has hatched that day that changes everything. Well, today was one of those days. My husband and I started talking about something that has recently happened that could change our plans yet again. I had already considered this possibility in my head last week, but hearing him voice it out loud made my heart lurch. Outwardly, I think I smiled and made some comment about how God is in control, but inside I was screaming- "...

I have become an ostrich... When you read the news, click on the link, or that article and an overwhelming sense of sadness and helplessness comes over you, because what can you really do? So much suffering. So much poverty. Babies being killed. Women and children being sold for their bodies. People starving. No clean water. No education. Brutality. No religious freedom. Disease rampant. People who have never even heard the name of Jesus. If you have the courage to even lift your head out of the sand for a second, you are so moved and overwhelmed by the ugliness, the evil, the sadness of it all, you just stick your head back in the sand. For me, living in a third world country, it's not just pictures on the news. It's real people I'm seeing. Sometimes I feel pulled a thousand different ways. I want to stop abortion. I want to help the poor. I want to put an end to human trafficking. I want to get food and water to those who don't have any. I want to be a docto...