Extreme
Sometimes it just hits me. I have a few second of quiet, when you question your existence. “Am I really here right now? Am I dreaming? It still seems like I should be sitting on my daddy’s knee with my little Bubba, safe & secure in comfort, away from danger & risk. Have I dreamed all of this into existence? Do I really have 2 beautiful kids? Have I really been married for 10 years to a man who far exceeds my every dream?” I find asking these questions. Why can’t my life just be normal? Why can’t it just be like everyone else’s? Why can’t we have some consistency, God? Just one little, consistent thing? Like, knowing how much money we will have this month or can we just have one place instead of five to call home? The life we live is hard. Constant & painful goodbyes. Wiping tears from little eyes because we have to leave Grampy & Grammy again. Hugging my husband in the morning as he goes to fly a tiny plane in the jungle into some of the smallest airst