The Ramblings of A Missionary Wife

Sometimes it is really hard to put into words the thoughts and feelings that build up inside. I have been struggling with so many things lately that seem so big and important. Never-ending. I am so focused on them that it seems that is all I see. Drowning...burdened...in silence...alone. I want to know for sure that He hears. That He sees. I'm waiting for a booming voice, a shaking, fiery revelation. And then HE comes. “Go out and stand before me on the mountain,” the  Lord  told him. And as Elijah stood there, the  Lord  passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the  Lord  was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the  Lord  was not in the earthquake.   And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the  Lord  was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper.   When Elijah heard it, he wrap...

You know on the superhero-spy movies, when someone goes "radio silent?" Radios are regular part of my life & so I feel kind of connected to them. They speak my language. Radio silent- off the grid- going dark. That's how I would describe my life lately. Radio silent. I've gone dark. I've retreated into my "safe house."  Many of you have probably noticed less Facebook posts, short-replies to texts, unreturned emails. To be perfectly honest, I'm having trouble dealing with life which equals social radio silence. A big reason is sometimes it seems like God has "gone dark." It feels like I'm screaming into the wind & He doesn't hear. I read His Word and it doesn't jump off the page like I long for it to. I desire more than anything else to glorify God with my life & earnestly seek Him with all that I am. To revel in His love. But it's hard when you just don't feel it...the world can be so overwhelming at...