When The Answer is No...
I never thought we would hear the answer no. It's what we planned for. It's what we trained for. It's what we hoped for. It was my husband's dream. It was who we were as a family.
When we returned home to the states for furlough last year, we were wiped. We had had a very busy few years in the Philippines building the hangar, importing helicopters and helping to get the helicopter program on our island set up. We were coming back to the states for several months of furlough and for Josh to finish up getting his helicopter license so we could return to the Philippines and fly the flight program on our island. We had already flown a flight program as a family on another island using the airplane and loved it and we looked forward to doing it again with the helicopter.
After a few weeks in the states recovering, we traveled to our aviation headquarters for Josh to have an evaluation of where he was at in the helicopter. There had been some concern expressed beforehand on his natural aptitude, but in my mind, I had no doubt that he was the best and everything would be fine. But even in believing that, we decided that we would trust God to lead us in the direction He wanted us to go in. Again though, I just knew that He wanted us in the Philippines flying the flight program.
But, what do you do when God says NO?
We were devastated. A pilot family is who we were. A missionary pilot is what my husband dreamed of being since he was a little boy. We were angry. We questioned. We wept. Why us? All our friends made it through. I can't really begin to describe how that felt. I didn't know how to help my husband. I wanted to take up an offense for him. I wanted to make it all ok, but I couldn't.
It really felt like a death. It felt like the closing of a book. What do we do now?
But in our grief, there was this, sometimes infuriating, but underlying peace. There was overwhelming love from our friends, family, and coworkers. There was our leadership, who had to deliver the hard news, but who cried with us and loved us through it all.
But for me, mostly, there was a choice.
I can take this as a defeat. I can stay mad. I can become bitter. I can look at it as God just dealing else another hard one. I can compare our situation with others. We can quit. We can do something else. We can return to a normal life back in Texas and just leave it all behind. Or...
I can take this as a redirection from my loving Savior who only ever does things for my good. I can choose joy even when it hurts and we're crying. We can choose to stick with the calling that God put in our hearts individually so many years ago to see unreached people come to know Him.
And this choice wasn't just for that day. I have to choose every day.
There is still a pang of grief when I think about that day. There are still tears. It's still hard when I see pictures of someone else flying the helicopter, yet we still run outside every time the helicopter flies over because we love aviation and flying.
God is still in control. He is still worthy of trust. He still loves and He's still good even if the answer is no and your whole world is turned upside down.
And as my very wise daughter said, "Mom, we haven't come to the end of the book, just the end of the chapter."
So, when the answer is no, you cry, choose daily to trust, and start the next chapter.
A little more about what our "next chapter" looks like-
https://blogs.ethnos360.org/josh-dalton/2018/10/11/a-new-journey/
When we returned home to the states for furlough last year, we were wiped. We had had a very busy few years in the Philippines building the hangar, importing helicopters and helping to get the helicopter program on our island set up. We were coming back to the states for several months of furlough and for Josh to finish up getting his helicopter license so we could return to the Philippines and fly the flight program on our island. We had already flown a flight program as a family on another island using the airplane and loved it and we looked forward to doing it again with the helicopter.
After a few weeks in the states recovering, we traveled to our aviation headquarters for Josh to have an evaluation of where he was at in the helicopter. There had been some concern expressed beforehand on his natural aptitude, but in my mind, I had no doubt that he was the best and everything would be fine. But even in believing that, we decided that we would trust God to lead us in the direction He wanted us to go in. Again though, I just knew that He wanted us in the Philippines flying the flight program.
But, what do you do when God says NO?
We were devastated. A pilot family is who we were. A missionary pilot is what my husband dreamed of being since he was a little boy. We were angry. We questioned. We wept. Why us? All our friends made it through. I can't really begin to describe how that felt. I didn't know how to help my husband. I wanted to take up an offense for him. I wanted to make it all ok, but I couldn't.
It really felt like a death. It felt like the closing of a book. What do we do now?
But in our grief, there was this, sometimes infuriating, but underlying peace. There was overwhelming love from our friends, family, and coworkers. There was our leadership, who had to deliver the hard news, but who cried with us and loved us through it all.
But for me, mostly, there was a choice.
I can take this as a defeat. I can stay mad. I can become bitter. I can look at it as God just dealing else another hard one. I can compare our situation with others. We can quit. We can do something else. We can return to a normal life back in Texas and just leave it all behind. Or...
I can take this as a redirection from my loving Savior who only ever does things for my good. I can choose joy even when it hurts and we're crying. We can choose to stick with the calling that God put in our hearts individually so many years ago to see unreached people come to know Him.
And this choice wasn't just for that day. I have to choose every day.
There is still a pang of grief when I think about that day. There are still tears. It's still hard when I see pictures of someone else flying the helicopter, yet we still run outside every time the helicopter flies over because we love aviation and flying.
God is still in control. He is still worthy of trust. He still loves and He's still good even if the answer is no and your whole world is turned upside down.
And as my very wise daughter said, "Mom, we haven't come to the end of the book, just the end of the chapter."
So, when the answer is no, you cry, choose daily to trust, and start the next chapter.
A little more about what our "next chapter" looks like-
https://blogs.ethnos360.org/josh-dalton/2018/10/11/a-new-journey/
Comments
Post a Comment